Navigating Workplace Conflict: A Path to Team Resilience

Understanding Conflict in Teams

Conflict is a natural part of any team environment. It can arise from differing opinions, misunderstandings, or competing priorities. However, how teams handle conflict can make all the difference.

Instead of viewing conflict as a negative force, we can see it as an opportunity for growth. When approached correctly, conflict can lead to better communication, stronger relationships, and improved team dynamics.

The 4 Team Toxins

Every team has its own terrain, but some dangers show up across the board. These four “toxins” are behaviors that corrode trust, stall progress, and make collaboration feel like a slog.

Contempt: The Eye-Rolling Saboteur

How it shows up: Hostile sarcasm, public shaming, “I’m better than you” energy

What it signals: Someone feels superior or scared

Real-world example: “They’ll never get to my level. I don’t know why we even hired them.”

When someone in the workplace exhibits contempt, they see their co-workers as less than them. That quickly erodes trust and confidence.

Blaming: The Finger-Pointing Firestarter

How it shows up: Bullying, domination, throwing others under the bus

What it signals: A fear of failure masked as control

Real-world example: “We’ll never hit our targets at this pace. It’s Finance’s fault for dictating such a conservative approach.”

When blame takes over, collaboration grinds to a halt. Instead of exploring solutions together, team members stake their survival on pushing the problem onto someone else. It’s a shortcut that backfires, fueling resentment, silos, and reactivity.

Defensiveness: The Fortress That Keeps Growth Out

How it shows up: Denial, excuse-making, deflection

What it signals: Discomfort with vulnerability or feedback

Real-world example: “It’s not our fault. IT should’ve triple-checked the site to make sure everything was working right.”

Defensiveness feels protective, but it walls off accountability, growth, and trust. When people shut down instead of tuning in, the team misses the chance to learn from missteps and adapt with resilience.

Stonewalling: The Silent Glacier in the Room

How it shows up: Withdrawing, withholding, avoiding responsibility or conversation

What it signals: A loss of hope or a fear of conflict

Real-world example: “I’m not getting involved. I’m just going to sit here, eat my popcorn, and watch the whole project implode. That’ll show them.”

Stonewalling might look passive, but it’s powerful, just not in a good way. When team members disengage or bypass communication, it creates confusion, erodes trust, and slows momentum to a crawl.

Ghosts of Culture Past

These aren’t just memories. They’re echoes of old leadership patterns, toxic norms, or unchecked behaviors that still haunt the halls. Maybe it’s the founder who prioritized speed over sustainability, the former director who pitted team members against each other for praise, or the former head of HR who cozied up to management. Whatever their story, these ghosts don’t rest until their legacy is named and reshaped.

Roles: The Unseen Hats We Wear

Teams don’t just run on titles and org charts. They run on roles: some official, some invisible, all powerful. Yet, these roles often go unnoticed until something feels off: A team feels overextended. A project stalls. Someone quietly burns out.

That’s when the questions start: Who’s responsible for this? Why am I always the one stepping in? Did we ever agree this was mine to carry?

On any given day, your team might be carrying roles like:

• Project manager

• Creative instigator

• Tech translator

• Emotional first responder

• Devil’s advocate

• Peacemaker

  
  

Some are defined. Others are assumed. But here’s the real question: Are those roles being filled with clarity and consent or just out of habit and hope?

Unchecked roles can lead to fatigue, resentment, or power struggles, but examined with care and consideration, they offer a map to rebalance team dynamics and unlock hidden strengths.

Misalignment: When Agreement Gets in the Way of Progress

Many teams chase full consensus, believing everyone must be 100% on board before moving forward. It sounds noble, but it can backfire fast. That one lingering doubt from a team member? That slight hesitation or alternate perspective? In an all-or-nothing culture, it can grind everything to a halt.

Worse yet, when someone resists a direction, they’re often labeled the problem, rather than seen as a signal to dig deeper. That resistance might hold insight the team needs to hear.

Here’s the truth: agreement. It means shared purpose. A clear direction. A willingness to move together, even if every detail isn’t perfectly settled.

Strong teams know that movement matters. They listen for patterns, seek common ground, and move forward with curiosity instead of fear.

Any of the above-mentioned aspects can derail a team, but they don’t have to. There are solutions for each one.

Applying Antidotes to Team Toxins

Here’s how to clean up the air:

• Speak Respectfully: Be mindful of tone, timing, and delivery. Practice using “I” statements and active listening.

• Reflect Personally: Encourage team members to explore what sets them off and how to respond with more skill.

• Give Better Feedback (COIN): Context. Observation. Impact. Next Steps. A simple, powerful way to speak your truth without escalating tension.

• Start & End Conversations with Intention: Begin with calm, end with gratitude. Leave the door open for next time.

• Stay Curious: Ask open-ended questions. Explore others’ perspectives without needing to agree.

• Acknowledge Shared Truth: Even if it’s just 2%, everyone brings a piece of the puzzle. Let’s find what’s true together.

• Bring in a Neutral Third Party: A trained facilitator or coach can help map the terrain and guide the team forward.

• Say the Thing: Transparency builds trust. Share concerns, not accusations.

  
  

Managing the Apparitions

Ghosts from your workplace’s past don’t disappear just because the people who caused them are gone. Their influence lingers in policies, power dynamics, and unspoken stories. You can’t banish them entirely, but you can learn to manage them as a team.

Here’s how:

• Name the ghost. What past leader, policy, or behavior is still casting a shadow?

• Give it form. Assign it a metaphor, object, or image to externalize it.

• Call on your team’s strengths. What current values, habits, or relationships counteract this ghost?

• Make a plan. Decide together how to respond when that ghost reappears in decisions, meetings, or team culture.

  
  

By giving shape to the invisible, your team takes back its agency and begins to move forward, together.

Regularly Examining Roles

Every team member wears a collection of hats, some official, some assumed, some worn out. To prevent burnout and misalignment, teams need to regularly zoom out and ask:

• What roles are defined on paper?

• What roles are quietly being filled, like the fixer, the question-asker, or the emotional support person?

• Who’s filling which roles right now? And should they be?

  
  

Something to remember: roles are not identities. Just because someone has been the “organizer” or “peacekeeper” doesn’t mean it’s a forever fit.

Check in regularly. See if roles need to shift, be reassigned, or even retired for the good of the team. Make it normal—and healthy—to talk about role clarity and capacity out loud.

Seeking Alignment Over Agreement

Alignment doesn’t require unanimous agreement. It requires shared purpose, mutual respect, and a willingness to move forward together. When conflict arises, invite the team into a process that promotes empathy and insight:

1. Vent first. Let each person name what happened, how it impacted them, and what they need moving forward.

2. Reflect deeply. Ask others to share what they heard, focusing on understanding, not rebuttal.

3. Find common ground. What’s shared? Where is there overlap in concerns, hopes, or desired outcomes?

4. Externalize the problem. If things get sticky, frame the conflict as a shared challenge, something “out there” to be tackled together, not something between people.

5. Co-create a path forward. Brainstorm, build options, and choose the most workable, collective next step.

   
   

This isn’t about getting everyone to agree. It’s about getting everyone aligned, so the team can move with purpose, even across differences.

Feeling Overwhelmed?

You don’t have to navigate this alone. Whether your team is stuck in old patterns, feeling weighed down by past dynamics, or just struggling to communicate clearly, we can help.

At Flowing River Conflict Solutions, we offer tools, training, and coaching that help teams navigate conflict with confidence.

Let’s chart a new path together. Book your free exploratory call and take the first step toward a more connected, resilient team.