Do You Cringe When You Hear the Word "Conflict"?
- Valerie Polunas
- Jun 25
- 2 min read
It's okay if you do. You're definitely not alone.

Merriam-Webster defines conflict as:
"a fight, battle, or war; competitive or opposing action of incompatibles; antagonistic state or action; and, mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or external or internal demands."
Yikes, right?
When, I ask people how they define conflict, I hear words like, Disagreement, Friction, Opposition, Stress, Avoidance, or Violence.
I've said the same in the past.
But over the years, through coaching teams, leading workplace conflict trainings, and navigating tough conversations, I've come to see conflict differently. Yes, conflict can be painful or destructive, but stopping there is like turning around halfway through a hike because the trail got steep.
Conflict is natural. It shows up whenever people with different experiences, values, or worldviews interact. It's not a sign of failure. It's a signal that something is shifting in the relationship. It's an invitation to check in, get curious, and communicate what matters most.

Reframing Conflict: From Tension to Transformation
The challenge is, most of us weren't taught to navigate conflict, so we either avoid it, escalate it, or muscle through it without ever learning what it has to teach us.
Here's the truth:
It takes more energy to repair a relationship broken by avoidance or escalation than it does to engage with intention in the first place.
Conflict doesn't have to break us. It can build us if we let it.
So, how do we shift our mindset?
Here are a few places to start:
Reflect on your automatic responses when conflict shows up.
Reframe the word conflict as a signal, not a stop sign.
Seek out examples of teams who've used conflict to grow stronger.
Build your skills to communicate, connect, and collaborate during tough moments.
When we do this work, we begin to see conflict not as a threat, but as a threshold.
Ready to Explore a New Relationship with Conflict?
If your team or organization wants to shift the way you view and handle conflict -- from reactive to proactive, from fear to possibility -- let's talk.
Let's explore how you can turn conflict into a catalyst for connection and growth.
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